This is Soster Shurtliff at an FHE activity prepping the dance decorations for Golden Days.
Not the best quality of pictures, but some of the final dance decorations
Not the best quality of pictures, but some of the final dance decorations
Kære Familie, September 11, 2016
We have had a busy week-end and long hours. We got home about 6:30 tonight and looked forward to relaxing a little this evening after an exhausting week-end— having a simple meal of soup and cheese sandwich and then write letters. Such was not to be. Even though Golden Days (the Copenhagen YSA Conference) ended about 3 p.m. today, there was a lot of clean-up and returning items borrowed, as well as storing the left-over food. One of the items borrowed was a refrigerator from the mission. When we met the missionaries, along with the YSA’s who were hauling the borrowed furniture on a flat-bed truck, the missionaries asked what we were going to do with the couch on the truck. (There were 4 couches on the truck, used at the conference to simulate a lounge area.) They had an investigator who needed a couch. We received permission to give the investigator a couch and a love-seat, but the missionaries couldn’t get in touch with their investigator. So we went back to our apartment for dinner. But less than ½ hour later, the AP’s called and asked us to pick them up so they could meet the YSA’s who still had the couch. Our AP’s do not have a car. That ended up taking over an hour—and I don’t think the investigator really wanted the couches. Sometimes what we think people need is not necessarily what is wanted.
I remember a time when we were about to be married and had no furniture for our basement apartment but a bean bag chair that Dad had given me for Christmas that year (such a romantic gift on our first Christmas together). I met Dad at the apartment one afternoon to see a ‘surprise’ he had for me. It seemed that his well-meaning mother and his crazy aunts felt sorry for us with no furniture so they had rounded up an old couch, some lamps and a chair to decorate our house. Dad didn’t get the reaction he expected from me—I couldn’t handle the brothel-like look and feel to the apartment and asked that all the furniture be removed. Funny how that memory came back as I watched the reaction of the investigator—not that the couches looked like the belonged in a brothel. But it did remind me that sometimes we try to give people what we think they need, not necessarily what is needed. I have been guilty of that a time or two in my life—maybe with my own children….
We didn’t work our temple shift this week due to preparations for the YSA conference on Friday (getting the refrigerator and getting set up). But we did attend a special temple session on Thursday with a group of missionaries. The mission likes to include the senior missionary couples so that we can be in the prayer circle. Our mission president likes to have a missionary conference for all new missionaries who have served for a month. It is called ’30-days in.’ The new missionaries and their companions, as well as the AP’s are invited to the mission home for 2 days of training. I think it is the mission president’s way to check on his missionaries to see first-hand how they are doing. The culmination of this training is an afternoon at the temple. Our session was at 1 p.m. and isn’t a regularly scheduled session. Thus, the temple also utilizes the senior couples who are ordinance workers to help out. We had an interesting thing happen—the temple audio stopped while the officiated was demonstrating the veil. The lights went out momentarily, stopping the tape, and when they came on again, the veil lowered. This wasn’t an easy fix and we waited for about 10 minutes while they reset the audio and tried to find the spot where we were.
There were about 200 YSA’s at the conference. Most of them came from the Scandinavian countries, but there were people from Germany, France, Estonia, Italy, England, Spain and a few more (including U.S.A., but those are really Americans living in Europe). There were about 8 classrooms of girls and 7 classrooms for boys. Dad and I spent the first couple of hours lining the windows on the halls side with black plastic garbage bags. This was for privacy. Some of the rooms had several large windows as well as glass doors. The favorite activities for these events are always the dances. The dances last 5-6 hours. The theme for the first dance was a cruise ship fancy dance. Some of the people dressed up but most were in casual clothes. The large auditorium had been transformed to look like a cruise ship, complete with a couple racks of suitcases. There was also a ‘bar,’ which was the big hit of the evening, where you could get a mixed, non-alcoholic drink. Someone had gone to a lot of trouble to find recipes and the ingredients for drinks like ‘Arizona Sunset’ and ‘Pina Colada.’ I was slightly bothered by the idea of the mixed drinks, but Dad enjoyed them all and the kids certainly did. The YSA committee had brought in some young married couples to be ‘bar tenders’ for the evening. The dance theme for the next night was that the cruise ship had crashed and the people had all been rescued by islanders. So for this dance many of the YSA’s had an island flavor to their dress—and much more casual. The music for this dance was also a lot louder, it seemed. We were impressed with the lighting at the dances—a bit more spectacular than we have seen in the youth dances we attend in the states.
We spent a lot of time helping in the kitchen. A sister from our ward was in charge of the food. She was well-organized. There was plenty of food and it was all delicious. Many things had been prepared ahead of time so they only needed re-heating. We grilled hamburgers the first night and marinated pork loin the next night with frikadeller, so the grill was busy. We had pita kabobs for lunch and breads, yogurts, cereal, pastries and fruit for breakfast.
The spiritual theme for Golden Days was “Becoming True Millennials” from President Nelson’s Worldwide devotional in January. I really like this talk, especially as it paints a completely different picture of what millennials should be than what Jared has shared concerning the world’s millennials in the workplace. We had workshops on Saturday morning as well as attending the temple. Unfortunately, you couldn’t do both. Dad had to ‘preside’ at the opening devotional, so we didn’t go to the temple. One of the workshops I attended was on President Monson’s quote: “May we ever choose the harder right, instead of the easier wrong.” The instructors had placed ‘consequences’ under our chairs and we had to share our consequences. We ‘chose’ our chair to sit in which resulted in a ‘consequence.’ Some of the consequences were things like “Get a raise” or “Temple Marriage.” But some of them were things like “Gain weight” and “Lose your testimony.” Then we had to say the ‘choice’ that we might have made to receive our ‘consequence’ (and it is not just because we chose that seat). It is an effective way to look at choices, if we identify the consequences first. It is like to a puzzle maze where you have 5 monkeys with different paths all scrambled together—only one gets the banana and you have to choose which one. The instructor said that randomly choosing a path and following it to the end, only to find that it is not the right one, is time-consuming and leads to frustration. He likes to solve puzzles like that by starting with the banana and tracing it to the right monkey—in other words: Identify the consequence you want and choose the path that leads to it.
The other class I attended was based on Linda K. Burton’s phrase: “First Observe and then Serve.” We read the story in John 5:5-9 about the man who has been sick for 38 years and sits by the pool at Bethesda, trying to be healed by the ‘troubled waters’ but never being able to be the first one in because of his infirmity. Christ set the example about observing and serving when he asked the man “Wilt thou be made whole?” And then He healed the man. Now there are other lessons to be learned from this story, but the one we focused on here was that Christ didn’t wait to be asked; he didn’t pass by the man and not notice. He observed and then served.
On Sunday we had a Sacrament meeting and then Priesthood/RS meeting. Our mission president spoke at the sacrament meeting and then we had an hour for testimonies. The mission president spoke of meeting with a newly returned missionary while he was in Salt Lake having his heart surgery. The missionary came home to find that his brother and his wife had left the church. This really troubled the missionary. So the mission president counseled the missionary about the ‘second test’ we all face. The first test comes when we are converted and ‘ask God, the Eternal Father, in the name of Christ, if these things are not true.’ The second test comes when you receive a trial of your faith by something you read or something you don’t agree with, or something that conflicts with science, etc. He emphasized that none of the things that anti-Mormons put out are new. These are the same things that people have been saying against the church for 180 years—polygamy, Joseph Smith’s multiple and young wives, how the Book of Mormon was translated, etc. The questions one needs to ask are: 1) Does what I am reading strengthen or weaken my testimony and my faith in Christ. Reading the Book of Mormon will strengthen our testimony—what do we choose to read? You cannot serve God and Mammon. (You can’t read scriptures and anti-Mormon stuff.) 2) Does what I am reading ‘give me a pathway out?’ Does it give me an ‘excuse’ to leave the church, something I have already decided to do? Some things need to be learned spiritually, not intellectually. Real intent does not mean with a lot of intensity. It doesn’t mean that we are just curious; it means we have a great desire to know the truth. President O’Bryant said he believes when science and religion know all things, they will know the same things. Science does not answer the question why. Religion does. 3) Are the things I am learning building me up or tearing me down? This is the second test we face and it comes as we stop remembering our covenants, our blessings, our spiritual experiences, the feelings we had when we passed the first test. ‘Remember’ is such an important word for keeping our testimonies bright.
Kærlig hilsen, Mom
Kære Familie, Monday September 12, 2016
Mom is super mom. I guess you know that since the girls all try to keep up with her. I think I have given up. The weather this week has been beyond perfect. Never too hot, lots of sunshine and cool nights but not quite ready for a jacket. For Golden Days, they had a fire in a wheel barrow each night on the patio. It added some warmth for those wishing it but mostly was for the ambiance it created.
We have been pretty fearful of how Golden Days would turn out as the planning has not been very visible to us, other than the decorations we worked on in FHE for the past 2 weeks. It was truly amazing though. I lot was delegated and the various teams came through and with a great amount of detail. The dances included a huge rented light bar that extended across the width of the gym. One of those that you crank up and has maybe 8-10 lights on it that each cast different colors and patterns. The water jugs had sliced lemons and limes and 1 had sliced cucumbers – that must be a Danish thing - I did not try it. The decorations were a lot more than we did in FHE. They had a homemade raft with a sail, a kayak borrowed from someone, etc.
A comment from our bishop (Bishop Leit) stands out to me. He dropped in during our final lunch of leftovers to get a feel for the conference and we chatted a moment. He said that when he interviews the single sisters in our group, he tells them to put on their best hunting clothes and to go out hunting to get the man they want. The YM will not do the hunting so the YW need to go out and chase him rather than just waiting around for a possible eternal mate.
I would add that they also may need to change some of his habits to help him rise to his potential as a priesthood man. But how do you do that? We cannot change anyone else, just ourselves. As a generalization, these YM are not equal in stature to some of the returned missionary YW that we see. They are not as focused on schooling, work or on life. They live the Danish ‘hygge’ life style of comfort, ease and coasting through life. This applies to the YM RM’s as well it seems for the most part. What is the solution to that huge issue? A couple of examples that we just heard about at the conference. 1) There was a wedding taking place on Saturday; the 35-year-old brother of one of our YM, who is about 26 himself. He is the one who said in an institute lesson that the best way to make his mother happy would be to get married and have children. 2) 2 other of our YM RM’s who we have not seen in a couple of weeks – they have taken off to Spain to have fun for 2-3 months. They don’t have jobs or money and are not in school. They bought a car for $200, spent another $100 on some repairs and took off driving to Spain. They are living with the brother of one of them who is going to school in Spain. The dad just shook his head when he was telling me this.
The Saturday afternoon activity was a live Pokémon event that they did by dividing into groups of 6-7. They did not use cell phones, so I don’t know exactly how it was structured but we hear a lot about Pokémon. It seems to have taken off in Denmark and the youth play it all of the time. I hear there have been some deaths in the USA in traffic accidents involving Pokémon?
Observing the YSA leaders leads me to a few thoughts about leadership from my experiences that occurred to me on my run this morning. Maybe they will be instructional or helpful.
Leaders sometimes have to stand at the door and greet people. They are obligated to sit on stands and smile and try to stay awake (I am still failing at this one). They conduct council meetings, listen to everyone’s comments and then are led by the spirit to direct what, when and how some actions are taken. Sometimes they stand at the crossroads and direct traffic so that others can work efficiently (I am thinking of the Louisiana rescue efforts where the leaders most likely did not have shovels but were at the stake centers directing everyone else and making assignments.) Sometimes however, leaders lead the way by grabbing a shovel and working side by side with everyone else in the sweat and mire. They are usually the first ones at an activity and the last ones to leave, making sure the building is locked up. They may be in the bathrooms cleaning the toilets that everyone else thought would wait until the next Saturday’s cleaning assignment but they are concerned that the building is ready for the Sabbath. In battles, the generals often were in the front as they charged a hill (Helaman, Captain Moroni). A leader who doesn’t get his hands dirty when necessary quickly loses the respect of his followers, I think. He cannot be above his flock but must be in amongst them. No job can be beneath them. (Mom was cleaning the sinks yesterday that were clogged with filthy water and no one else would touch them.) (I heard Leah, mentioned above, cleaned every toilet.)
Our priesthood lesson was good. It supposedly was President Hunter’s lesson but I did not recognize much from the manual. Nevertheless, the take-away's were good. He asked each person to make a list of what they will do to be a better husband and father. (In their case, preparation!)
Priesthood lesson take away for me:
On Tuesday morning, I was able to get Stephen the maintenance man, to come by at 9:30 to look at our toilet that will not stop running. I worked with him to learn about Danish toilets, they are very different under the hood, so that I can perhaps do the simple maintenance on them.
Late Monday afternoon, one of the YSA’s called me and asked if I would be the key note speaker on Saturday morning for the opening devotional on the theme of President Nelson’s world-wide devotional talk, Becoming Millennials. Their speaker had to bow out for some reason. I was to take 45 minutes. I was a good choice for a short-notice backup I guess. I spent the rest or the day until 6:00 pulling thoughts and sources together for my talk. Then of course I spent some time Tuesday researching ideas and reading and started in earnest Wednesday afternoon pulling everything together – probably 3 hours of work. At 6:30 I noticed I had received a text at 4:30 telling me I was no longer needed. The original speaker had arranged to make it after all. Oh well, the effort was not wasted as I enjoyed the topic and reading and I think I got more out of the conference with these thoughts in mind. The speaker was a sister from one of our wards, who had mentored some of the YSA’s as a YW leader. She did a good, creditable job. I think my approach would have been better from a motivational / instructional point of view, but she was certainly more personal and familiar with them. Probably a good thing.
Tuesday at 6:00 we went to dinner with the Buxtons, Larsens from Arhuus and Ottleys to celebrate marriage anniversaries. They each have one this month. 49, 43 and 47 years. Dinner lasted until 8:30 - awfully long, but it was nice to get out and visit with these couples. I had my first Danish steak and mom had some pasta. I especially hate paying for water; that was 15 kroners a piece or over $2 each for water from the tap, and we didn’t even get any refills and no bread with the meal. The only saving grace is that we never tip over here. It is all included in the bill. (Mom did get bread with her pasta but no butter!)
This morning, we had interviews at the language school to take Danish lessons. They will start the first week of October, if we can fit them into our schedule. We don’t have specifics yet other than the classes will be 3 days a week from 8:45am to 12:15. Normally, this should take us 5 to 6 months. (That means we will take 3 lessons a week for 6 months.) Then we can continue on after that if we want to for up to 3 years. All of this is free to help people learn Danish and assimilate into their country. It is a huge commitment and may mean that we have to give up district meetings and may have to change our temple assignment. We hope we can have a class that is not on Fridays so we can keep the temple the way it is now and maybe still have one district meeting if we could do a Mon – Wed, or a Mon, Wed and Thurs, or something like that. We will find out the schedule in a couple of weeks, just before the classes start. We need the help with the lessons if we are going to learn this language.
Well, time for FHE tonight. Thanks for your letters. We love you all. Dad.
A comment from our bishop (Bishop Leit) stands out to me. He dropped in during our final lunch of leftovers to get a feel for the conference and we chatted a moment. He said that when he interviews the single sisters in our group, he tells them to put on their best hunting clothes and to go out hunting to get the man they want. The YM will not do the hunting so the YW need to go out and chase him rather than just waiting around for a possible eternal mate.
I would add that they also may need to change some of his habits to help him rise to his potential as a priesthood man. But how do you do that? We cannot change anyone else, just ourselves. As a generalization, these YM are not equal in stature to some of the returned missionary YW that we see. They are not as focused on schooling, work or on life. They live the Danish ‘hygge’ life style of comfort, ease and coasting through life. This applies to the YM RM’s as well it seems for the most part. What is the solution to that huge issue? A couple of examples that we just heard about at the conference. 1) There was a wedding taking place on Saturday; the 35-year-old brother of one of our YM, who is about 26 himself. He is the one who said in an institute lesson that the best way to make his mother happy would be to get married and have children. 2) 2 other of our YM RM’s who we have not seen in a couple of weeks – they have taken off to Spain to have fun for 2-3 months. They don’t have jobs or money and are not in school. They bought a car for $200, spent another $100 on some repairs and took off driving to Spain. They are living with the brother of one of them who is going to school in Spain. The dad just shook his head when he was telling me this.
The Saturday afternoon activity was a live Pokémon event that they did by dividing into groups of 6-7. They did not use cell phones, so I don’t know exactly how it was structured but we hear a lot about Pokémon. It seems to have taken off in Denmark and the youth play it all of the time. I hear there have been some deaths in the USA in traffic accidents involving Pokémon?
Observing the YSA leaders leads me to a few thoughts about leadership from my experiences that occurred to me on my run this morning. Maybe they will be instructional or helpful.
Leaders sometimes have to stand at the door and greet people. They are obligated to sit on stands and smile and try to stay awake (I am still failing at this one). They conduct council meetings, listen to everyone’s comments and then are led by the spirit to direct what, when and how some actions are taken. Sometimes they stand at the crossroads and direct traffic so that others can work efficiently (I am thinking of the Louisiana rescue efforts where the leaders most likely did not have shovels but were at the stake centers directing everyone else and making assignments.) Sometimes however, leaders lead the way by grabbing a shovel and working side by side with everyone else in the sweat and mire. They are usually the first ones at an activity and the last ones to leave, making sure the building is locked up. They may be in the bathrooms cleaning the toilets that everyone else thought would wait until the next Saturday’s cleaning assignment but they are concerned that the building is ready for the Sabbath. In battles, the generals often were in the front as they charged a hill (Helaman, Captain Moroni). A leader who doesn’t get his hands dirty when necessary quickly loses the respect of his followers, I think. He cannot be above his flock but must be in amongst them. No job can be beneath them. (Mom was cleaning the sinks yesterday that were clogged with filthy water and no one else would touch them.) (I heard Leah, mentioned above, cleaned every toilet.)
Our priesthood lesson was good. It supposedly was President Hunter’s lesson but I did not recognize much from the manual. Nevertheless, the take-away's were good. He asked each person to make a list of what they will do to be a better husband and father. (In their case, preparation!)
Priesthood lesson take away for me:
- What will I do to be a better husband and father?
- Get a hearing aid
- Concentrate on my annoying bad habits and overcome them
- Continue to court and try to win my eternal companion every day
- Never take her for granted, never let her kind acts go unnoticed
- Search for ways I can serve her and make her days lighter and happier
On Tuesday morning, I was able to get Stephen the maintenance man, to come by at 9:30 to look at our toilet that will not stop running. I worked with him to learn about Danish toilets, they are very different under the hood, so that I can perhaps do the simple maintenance on them.
Late Monday afternoon, one of the YSA’s called me and asked if I would be the key note speaker on Saturday morning for the opening devotional on the theme of President Nelson’s world-wide devotional talk, Becoming Millennials. Their speaker had to bow out for some reason. I was to take 45 minutes. I was a good choice for a short-notice backup I guess. I spent the rest or the day until 6:00 pulling thoughts and sources together for my talk. Then of course I spent some time Tuesday researching ideas and reading and started in earnest Wednesday afternoon pulling everything together – probably 3 hours of work. At 6:30 I noticed I had received a text at 4:30 telling me I was no longer needed. The original speaker had arranged to make it after all. Oh well, the effort was not wasted as I enjoyed the topic and reading and I think I got more out of the conference with these thoughts in mind. The speaker was a sister from one of our wards, who had mentored some of the YSA’s as a YW leader. She did a good, creditable job. I think my approach would have been better from a motivational / instructional point of view, but she was certainly more personal and familiar with them. Probably a good thing.
Tuesday at 6:00 we went to dinner with the Buxtons, Larsens from Arhuus and Ottleys to celebrate marriage anniversaries. They each have one this month. 49, 43 and 47 years. Dinner lasted until 8:30 - awfully long, but it was nice to get out and visit with these couples. I had my first Danish steak and mom had some pasta. I especially hate paying for water; that was 15 kroners a piece or over $2 each for water from the tap, and we didn’t even get any refills and no bread with the meal. The only saving grace is that we never tip over here. It is all included in the bill. (Mom did get bread with her pasta but no butter!)
This morning, we had interviews at the language school to take Danish lessons. They will start the first week of October, if we can fit them into our schedule. We don’t have specifics yet other than the classes will be 3 days a week from 8:45am to 12:15. Normally, this should take us 5 to 6 months. (That means we will take 3 lessons a week for 6 months.) Then we can continue on after that if we want to for up to 3 years. All of this is free to help people learn Danish and assimilate into their country. It is a huge commitment and may mean that we have to give up district meetings and may have to change our temple assignment. We hope we can have a class that is not on Fridays so we can keep the temple the way it is now and maybe still have one district meeting if we could do a Mon – Wed, or a Mon, Wed and Thurs, or something like that. We will find out the schedule in a couple of weeks, just before the classes start. We need the help with the lessons if we are going to learn this language.
Well, time for FHE tonight. Thanks for your letters. We love you all. Dad.
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