I thought of my grandchildren as Dad and I did sealings for part of our temple service this week. We really love Brother Olsen who is the sealer and grandfather to some of our young adults. We did family names for some of the other people who were participating, but then we did a name for Brother Olsen. It was for a 7-year old boy (at the time of his death) who was born in the 1600’s. Brother Olsen said that he had not been able to find this young boy for a long time. He was now able to seal him to his parents today. I thought about this boy who didn’t need any of the other ordinances, but he did need this one. I thought about what it would be like to not be sealed to your parents. I thought about my grandchildren—how much I love them and are glad they are bound by sealing covenants to family. I felt that there must have been great rejoicing as parents and son embraced when this ordinance was at last completed. He (and his parents) have waited a long time for this. There must be many who are longing for these blessings. They are depending on us to make these blessings possible for them.
I watched the Women’s Conference this afternoon. It is very different here where we are 8 hours ahead of conference. Thus last night, when I would normally have gone to Women’s Conference, it hadn’t even happened yet. I’m glad Sam got to go to her first Women’s Conference. I enjoyed President Uchtdorf’s talk. I appreciate the reminder to not give up, don’t get discouraged, keep going. You never know who may be influenced by something you push yourself to do even when you feel like giving up. I loved the little story in the Ensign (September) about the girl who had missionaries over to teach some friends. The friends weren’t interested after two lessons and the girl left home for college that summer thinking that those lessons had been a waste of time. What she didn’t know at the time was that her non-member father was outside painting the house during those discussions and had the profound feeling that he had been on the outside looking in long enough. Because of that, he decided to join the church. There are times in my life when I have wondered if I am making a difference—should I really try to visit all my visiting teaching sisters each month; should I really fight through the push-back I get from children practicing the piano; can I ever really relate to the Young Adults here in Denmark? Should I give up? President Uchtdorf says “No—go all the way to the 4th floor, knocking on every door.”
Conference here will be a marathon week-end much like yours. It just starts later in the day. Here is the schedule: Saturday at 4 p.m. Women’s Conference, 6 p.m. Saturday morning session (live, same as you). Sunday at 11 a.m. Priesthood Session, 2 p.m. Saturday afternoon session. Break—lunch at the mission president’s home. 6 p.m. Sunday morning session (live). 10 p.m. Sunday afternoon session (live). All sessions are shown at the church, except the last session. I guess we are all to go home and watch it on the internet, or catch it later. The senior missionary couples are invited to a potluck dinner of chili and hotdogs. It sounds like a marathon week-end of conference, except that it always is anyway.
We went to a musical fireside tonight for our stake. We found out that they do 3 musical firesides each year—spring, fall and Christmas. There were ten musical numbers plus ‘the spoken word’ by one of the Bishops. We had several piano solos, a violin solo, vocal solos, vocal duets, a men’s choir and our YSA choir. One of the piano solos was a Chopin prelude—very nice. Our YSA choir sang three weeks ago at Golden Days. It was an arrangement of ‘O My Father’ sung to the tune of ‘If you Could Hie to Kolob.’ The young girl who arranged the music plays mostly by ear. Her piano accompaniment did not resemble the hymn structure at all, so the singers had to know their parts because she didn’t play them. It actually sounded very beautiful. For the YSA conference, they sang in English. Tonight, they sang in Danish. One of the singers tonight was Tomas Kofod, a Danish actor who played Christ in ‘The Testaments.’ (I think I mentioned that we saw him in the temple several weeks ago, and he literally looked like Christ.) He sang a medley of Primary songs. He was by far the best vocalist. Of course he has played Jean Valjean in ‘Les Miserables,’ ‘Jekyl and Hyde,’ Danny in ‘Grease,’ and Tony in ‘West Side Story.’
One of the most poignant points in our training yesterday came from a young man (about Clayton’s age). He said he had returned home from his mission 10 years ago. He is married now with 2? children and is the director of institutes for Norway. He taught several sections, but in one break-out session he taught the attributes of Christ. At the end of his presentation he looked at the YSA representatives and said he wanted to talk to them as someone from his peer group. He then quoted the scriptures in Luke when Christ says, “Simon, Simon, behold, Satan hath desired to have you, that he may sift you as wheat: But I have prayed for thee, that thy faith fail not: and when thou art converted, strengthen thy brethren.” (Luke 22:31-32) He then explained what it means to ‘sift wheat.’ He said it meant ‘to make ordinary.’ Satan wants to make you just ordinary. He knows he doesn’t have to get you to do big sins—he may not be able to get you to do that. But he knows if he can get you to be ordinary, to not value yourself, or have high expectations, then he has you. He reminded the youth that they were a peculiar people and that they should always strive to be peculiar—not ordinary. And when they figure that out for themselves, they need to go out and strengthen others so they will be peculiar as well.
I learned from the other senior missionaries that ‘cooking’ really is the service we give to these YSA’s. It is the way we show love. It helps to create the environment where the youth feel comfortable. One of the presenters asked us to remember ‘yesterday’ when our children came and talked with us while we cooked dinner. Many of these YSA’s still need to visit with a ‘mom’ while she makes dinner. They may not have a mom or a household where that can happen. I thought about my dinner last week. We got to the center about 4:30 to prepare dinner. I was making spaghetti. I had done a lot of the prep work at home first. I also made apple crisp that night. I made the topping at home, but we peeled and sliced apples at the center. That is what took the most time. (I made 2 recipes.) About 5 p.m. Charlotte arrived. She came in to the kitchen and talked while we worked. She has a severe stutter so it is difficult to understand her at times, but we communicated for the most part. I realized later that she just needed to talk. She showed me a picture of her missionary sister and we talked about that. Another young man came shortly after her. Again he came in the kitchen and just talked with us. But it made me realize that part of my cooking may be just to be there in a safe environment for when the kids want to talk. The teacher then told a story about a young man on his birthday. He came to the institute center. Many of the kids knew it was his birthday and wished him a happy birthday. They asked how his day had been. It had been the worst day of his life. His family situation was terrible and for some reason that day was even worse. He left home, wandered around and found himself at the center. It was the one place he felt where he could feel love. We never know what is going on in our YSA’s lives. We want to create a place where they feel loved.
The handbook outlines the duties of what stake and ward leaders need to do when working with Young Adults. It says we are to work continuously to ‘identify, locate, and shepherd young adults.’ One of the ways we do that is to ‘create opportunities for young single adults to associate together in meaningful service, gospel learning and social activities.’ Now here is the big goal: ‘A central purpose of these activities is to help young single adults find marriage partners and prepare to marry in the temple and raise righteous families.’ (Dad particularly likes that part as he would love to play matchmaker.) So what really is our goal for these young people.
This formula comes from careful study of what we do in the church. So ultimately we want exaltation for our YSA’s. Our job in the institute program is one step in the formula. Thus we have the new Cornerstone curriculum. We are studying “The Eternal Family” in institute this semester and we are not holding anything back. The YSA’s hear it like it is. One of the goals in the Seminaries and Institute program is to Elevate Learning. Thus you have lessons that prepare the youth according to the Lord’s standards. We made a list on Thursday of how the world sees marriage versus how the Lord views marriage. I was pleased with the responses. Kim B. Clark talked about the importance of teaching the gospel plainly and simply to our youth. He said:
“The rising generation needs that deep learning because the world they will face will be both great and terrible—there will be increased light and power from heaven, and there will be even more terrible wickedness and turmoil and confusion. They will need to be grounded in the plain and simple truths of the gospel, the gospel will need to be deep in their hearts ....”
Another reason they need this kind of learning is “that young people will be ready for—and will want to receive—much more than what is now given to them. I do not mean that young people need to venture out into the weeds of complexity and speculation. They will need the plain and simple truths of the gospel taught with increased love and with increased power of the Holy Ghost.”
You will experience this with your own children. They will need to be taught the plain and simple truths of the gospel with love and with the power of the Holy Ghost. You will need to do this in the home.
Kærlig hilsen, Mom
Kære Familie, Sunday, September 25, 2016
"The spirit of exploration, whether it be of the surface of the earth, the vastness of space, or the principles of living greatly, includes developing the capacity to face trouble with courage; disappointment with cheerfulness; and triumph with humility. God left us the world unfinished for man to work his skill upon. He left the electricity in the cloud, the oil in the earth. He left the rivers unbridged and the forests unfelled and the cities unbuilt. God gives to man the challenge of raw materials, not the ease of unfinished things. He leaves the pictures unpainted and the music unsung and the problems unsolved, that man might know the joys and glories of creation.” President Monson, Ensign August 1988.
Some thoughts on our region training to start with. It was a great day and we feel like we finally have learned just what our role is and how we should go about it. It is 3 months late but one couple going home in a few weeks feels like it is way too late for them. They will at least try to pass it on to the couple who is replacing them. The conference was called the Nordic Institute Council and was supposed to include Finland, Norway, Sweden, and Denmark. It is an annual event and should include for each stake the YSA reps, the missionary couple and the CES director. We had maybe 30 people total including 5 senior couples, 4 CES directors, and maybe 12 YSA’s. Finland had 1 person, Sweden 2 stakes, Norway 1 stake and Denmark 2 stakes. However, the Yates were the only ones representing their stake. We also had all 3 of our stake YSA leaders. There were also 2 missionary couples who tried to join on a web conference. Technology is still always so hard as I am sure they missed a lot of what was said.
Senior missionary couples are so important – we feed everybody! In addition to that, we bring experience and the consistency, at least during our period of service for 18-22 months, of focused effort working with the YSA’s. You can see by the attendance, that we should be the backbone of training, though I don’t think the stake looks on us in that light yet. We are certainly blessed with having perhaps the strongest stake or the best organized at the present time, though it is unfair to judge anyone else by attendance standards at a meeting. As we discussed challenges and successes, they were all pretty similar: youth leaders feeling overburdened and burned out, not very many participating in activities or institute and lots of inactive.
The conference was outstanding and we were all enlightened by information we received. Brother Anderson's instructions were what we all wanted to learn in the MTC but didn't. He reviewed the way the organizations are supposed to work together between the wards, stakes and institutes and the role of the missionary couples. His perspective is unique I think because he is a former stake president, mission president and he now serves as the CES Director for Denmark. He is also a sealer in the temple. He has seen this work of salvation from all angles I think. Here are just a few notes.
- Our Purpose: Find, identify, invite, serve & teach
- Focus on "the one"
- We should always be discussing and be focused on: Who are they, where are they, who does it, how do we do it, when to do it, what to invite them to.
- More spirituality
- More service (rather than just social events and parties)
Personal Advice from Brother Andersen:
- Be proactive - get lists of YSA names and attack them (don't wait to be instructed)
- Be creative
- Get priesthood direction- vision, goals, plans
- Get involved (we are part of committees, we can bring ideas, suggestions)
- Organize yourself- vision, goals, plans
- Participate
- Make a difference
His challenge to us as senior missionary couples was to create our own vision of the work. “We will be going home in 2 years, what do we want the Copenhagen institute to look like?” Make plans to make it happen.
We saw one other little video clip from Elder Bednar speaking in Reading, England about the power of working one on one of face to face. He spoke to an audience of 250 on a Friday night in the Tetons. He mentioned that President Eyring would be speaking Tuesday afternoon in the weekly devotional at Ricks College. He wanted all the students to come dressed in Sunday best to demonstrate visibly that they were spiritually prepared to be instructed by an apostle of the Lord. He suggested that they each contact 5 students and ask them to contact 4, who would contact 3, who would contact 2, who would contact 1 other person. On Tuesday he was amazed that nearly the entire student body had received the message and complied and came to the devotional in their best clothing. He described that as the power of reaching one person at a time and miracles will happen.
The weather turned into Fall this week with about a 10-degree change in temperature. A jacket felt nice walking to the center and I jogged with my sweat gear on. We have still been blessed with blue skies and no rain for several weeks in a row.
This is the first week since we have been here where we truly did not have a lot going on in the mornings. Before this, there were apartments to check, errands to get done to get settled in, etc. Now most of that stuff is behind us until the language courses start in October.
We had an interesting special experience with one of our YM this week. He was the last to leave on Monday night after FHE and talked to us for just a bit. I think he may have planned it that way. It wasn't a long discussion but it was apparent he was concerned about where his life was headed. He was dating and broke up with a girl because it did not seem right and so he asked us how we knew that we loved each other. I shared that we had connected spiritually before anything else as we talked about our separate mission experiences on our first date after my mission and Mom’s Palmyra experience. Everything else just fell into place as we continued to date and we knew it was right. Perhaps a seed was planted with him that geminated quickly. He sent me a message Tuesday night asking whether I could give him a blessing. We arranged to meet up with him at the Center on Wednesday night. He said he is troubled spiritually and my heart was soft all day Wednesday thinking about him. He came at 8:30 and we had a nice chance to talk to him before I gave him a priesthood blessing. He mostly is searching for the next steps in his life since his hoped for courtship with the girl has fallen apart. We did not go into that too much but it seems like she really wanted to continue to date him but he did not feel right about it - 'not connecting spiritually' were his words. I hope he is doing the right thing. Perhaps we will have a chance to revisit that he is not running away too soon from something that could develop into love over time. At the core however, is that he is feeling his prayers are not being answered right now as he is searching for direction and answers and does not feel like he is getting any. It may be that he is expecting the Lord to do too much and he needs to move ahead with his righteous actions. He mentioned that his last priesthood blessing included some time lines and specific mile stones which have not happened for him. That is part of his uncertainty and in truth, makes me a little worried about the nature of the guidance he received. At least my experience is that I have not received nor given those sorts of specifics in any blessings. I hope they were not misguided. He is a good young man and I feel a bonding with him as I would a son who was searching for advice and direction.
I think the best part of our mission will be if we can make a difference in some individual lives. We hope they will come to trust us and to value what we can offer. Brother Anderson also mentioned yesterday the needs that some of these youth have. Some have never had a mom talk to them as they have worked in the kitchen, someone to open up to, to ask questions of, and to see the two of us interact and love each other. They need our role models to give them hope for their future and that marriage and living the gospel is worth it. They may really be questioning that since marriage often seems to be not that great of a thing in the world around them. Our work is really one by one. That can be as we cook meals together, interact in an activity or in searching out others that need to be rescued back into the fold. Another of the senior sisters who has been out for a while mentioned yesterday that at first she really resented the time she spent preparing food. Now she has come to realize that it is a small sacrifice and is a symbol of her love for the Lord. If that time can help one of these YSA in some way, then she is happy to do it.
Love, Dad.
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