August 13, 2017: Gavnø Slot

Look at the all the lilies—unfortunately there were only a few in bloom when we were there.  It has been too cold in Denmark!

There is a zip line activity that you can do in the forest next to the castle grounds.  It looked pretty fun, but we decided to get your money’s worth  ($40/ticket), you would need to go multiple times and it was too close to closing.  It wasn’t too difficult—it really was geared to kids.

Gavnø Slot, chapel and park.  The flowers were gorgeous.  

Kære familie, 13 August, 2017

We had our DVI meeting last week (not sure what those letters stand for) with a member of the Stake Presidency, the Institute Director, the High Counselor over YSA, and the YSA leadership.  We were there, of course, which is why they do the meeting in English.  President O’Bryant and a member of the Stake RS Presidency should also attend, but rarely do.  President Olsen asked for a report on Festinord.  Then he had a follow-up question about modesty.  I’m not sure where this came from, but I have learned to trust this man—his inspiration, his wisdom, and his insights.  I, of course, noticed the obvious infractions of the dress code, which all YSA and their Bishops signed before coming to Festinord.  It is always more obvious with the girls and their attire.  But the surprising comment came from the YSA committee themselves about some of the young men who did not wear their garments.  They specifically noted the dress on the sports field.  Of course, it is okay to engage in sports activities without wearing garments, but the youth felt that they took it too far by wearing their sports attire all day or choosing to wear tank tops and very short shorts for the soccer and volleyball contests.  They felt that even if you are not wearing your garments, you can still make better choices for sports clothing.  
This was a concern for the other brethren in our meeting.  They reference the opening thought Dad shared about not being afraid to teach correct doctrine, even when it is not popular or may offend some.  These principles need to be taught again and again—with gentleness and love, but we compromise principles.  I have always thought about wearing garments as a privilege, as protection, in remembrance of my covenants.  I have thought of it as finding reasons to wear your garment rather than excuses not to wear them.  So yes, in a group of 750 YSA, there were some infractions to the dress code, and during one of our meetings, the leaders of the conference reminded the YSA about the standards that they agreed to honor.  But perhaps even more disturbing were those young men and young women who chose to not wear their garments to activities like the dressy dinner/dance on the last night.  I am glad the Stake Presidency is concerned about this and we will have an upcoming fireside on the topic of modesty.  

We did seven apartment inspections this week—that was a full week and occupied a good deal of our time.  The most interesting one was the apartment where the freezer door would not shut—yes, it was the same one that we had a problem with a few months ago.  I’m convinced that the problem is not the freezer, but the sisters who do not ensure that the freezer door is shut tight!  Sometimes when you slam the door shut, it just bounces back a little, thus not getting a tight seal.  If this happens enough, eventually the freezer fills with ice so that the door can’t shut.  This was the problem both times in this apartment.  Last time Dad chipped enough ice off to get the door shut and we left with a promise from the sisters that they would finish the job.  We followed up with them and they did defrost the freezer.  Now, six months later we have the same freezer (different sister missionaries) about 85% full of frosted ice and enough build up that the door couldn’t shut and the shelf was frozen such that it, too, kept the door from closing all the way.  This was not going to be as simple as chipping some ice—we would have to remove all the ice in order to get the shelf back in place.  There were very few food items in the freezer—mostly because there was no room due to the ice.  The sisters just said that something was wrong with their freezer—no excuse for not defrosting it.  Defrosting the freezer is one of the things we ALWAYS check when we come.  The sisters had appointments lined up all afternoon and evening and we had another apartment inspection.  So, we set a pan of boiling water in the freezer, borrowed a key, went to the other inspection, and returned to tackle the icy deed.  I chipped away at it until my hands were frozen and my knuckles ached.  Dad stepped in to take a turn and with seemingly little pressure, knocked down a huge chunk of ice that was the culprit—the reason the door wouldn’t shut and why the shelf was displaced.   After that, it was easy to finish it up.  One of the sisters is a new missionary (4 weeks) but the other sister is a seasoned missionary and goes home next week.  Go figure!   The only silver lining in this experience is that this apartment is near the best ice cream store in all of Copenhagen (so they say).    I felt that we deserved double-decker waffle cones for our hard work, even though it cost us over $10.  They were sure yummy!

Two of our English-speaking YSA are going home.  That effectively decreases our institute class by two-thirds.  But you never know who might move in.  Shantay Carr is leaving—she is the American from Montana.  She has been doing an au pair job and I believe is just fed up with the amount of cooking and cleaning she is expected to do.  She said at the time she applied for the job, she knew it would include ‘heavy’ house cleaning, but she feels she is putting way too much time into the job.  She thought she would only be working 32-35 hours a week and she has worked 60 hours.  She is compensated by getting room and board, plus a minimum salary.  They provided her with a phone, a bus pass, some clothes, and vacation time—she wants to see as many European temples as she can.  She has already visited temples in Germany and Ukraine and had planned another trip in October to go to Spain, which won’t happen now.  She got off work the whole week of Festinord.  She attends institute and FHE regularly and also our YSA firesides.  And I know she gets together with friends a lot.  So, I don’t know what happened to change the situation, but all of a sudden she is going home because she thinks her host family is not treating her well, i.e. complaining about her work, too many hours per week.  It doesn’t sound like an amiable parting.  I am sorry to lose her, but I hope she will get her life together back in the States.

The other YSA going home is David Barcuti.  He will be returning to Romania.  I am sad to lose him because he has grown so much in the gospel during the past 10-11 months we have known him—eight months as a member of the church.  He still wants to serve a mission but feels he needs to first show his parents what the gospel has done for him, to allay their fears about his membership in this new church.  I worry about his activity because he thinks the closest chapel is two hours away.  I’m sure everything will work out, but we want to make sure he is ‘handed off’ to missionaries and a ward/branch family who can support him.  I hope he can also get involved with other YSA and institute.  He loves learning about the gospel!  He also has his eye on the temple and plans to come back to Copenhagen in January/ February to receive his temple ordinances.  I will look forward to that.  

We inspected an apartment in the South of Sjælland on Saturday—in Nykøbing.  Because it is a 1 ½ hour drive away, we usually do this inspection on a Saturday, and today we wanted to combine it with a little sight-seeing.  We thought about taking one of the other senior couples with us, but are glad we didn’t as we have yet to have a short visit at this apartment.  We were actually in Nykøbing 2 ½ hours.  We ask the missionaries before we come if they have any needs. But they don’t always think of things until we are actually there.  We had to go out and purchase a desk lamp and a floor lamp.  Normally this wouldn’t be too hard, but Nykøbing is a small town with not a lot of choices.  We had to go to several stores to find what we needed.  It just takes time.  We also picked up some additional cleaning supplies so when we got back to the apartment, Dad put the lamps together and I tried to get the caulk off the bathtub.  We were successful on both accounts.  

The place we visited on the way home was Gavnø Castle.  Even though we didn’t arrive until 1:30 and the castle closed at 4:00, we had plenty of time to see all we wanted to see.  It is a beautifully landscaped castle on a small island.  It looks more like a manor home than a castle and people still live in it.  The part of the castle that is open to the public has walls and walls covered with art, mostly portraits.  The castle originally was built to defend Denmark’s western coast from pirates (1200’s).  It was acquired in the early 1700’s by a Count who renovated the house extensively to what it is today.  He was an avid art collector, acquiring portraits of Columbus, Shakespeare, King Henry VIII and 5 of his wives, plus scientists, authors and a bunch of people we didn’t know.  The chapel in the castle is very small, but quite colorful and ornate.  We viewed several rooms that have been restored with period furniture, which are still used today as guest rooms by the owner, especially during hunting season.  We especially enjoyed walking around the grounds and the gardens.  It had rained all morning on our way to the elders’ apartment, but by the time we got to the castle, the rain had stopped.  It was cool and we were glad we brought our jackets.  As we were leaving the rain came again, so we were lucky to find a little bubble in which to make our visit.  

The foundation principle we taught this week in our institute class was on integrity.  I would recommend this video for a FHE sometime.  This is a great quote by Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin: “Integrity means always doing what is right and good, regardless of the immediate consequences. It means being righteous from the very depth of our soul, not only in our actions but, more importantly, in our thoughts and in our hearts. . . . A little lying, a little cheating, or taking a little unfair advantage are not acceptable to the Lord. . . . The consummate reward of integrity is the constant companionship of the Holy Ghost, . . . [who will] guide us in all we do.”  I enjoy the learning and re-learning I experience as I prepare the institute lessons.  It is another blessing from our mission that I wasn’t expecting.  I think having integrity is one of those Christlike qualities that we just can’t do without.  If we don’t have it; we must cultivate it.  If we have it; we must be ever constant in living it.

Love to all—med kærlighed, Mom

Kære Familie Sunday, August 13, 2017

It does not look like we are going to get a summer this year.  I am still waiting for some hot weather.  Yesterday, on an outing, we had our jackets on because it was raining, blustery and chilly.  Therefore, when we return to a hot Houston summer, we will probably die from the heat and humidity and wish for Danish weather again.  Our days are also already getting noticeably shorter and it is dark by 9:00.  It is with a feeling of sadness, that I know we are not far from another cold, dark winter.  It may be colder than last year because we never got very warm this summer and it just sort of feels like a cold winter is coming.  

Thinking of you, I know Jared and Kari are home from Hawaii, Lindsey and Derrick are back in Provo, school begins again in another week, and so summer has flown by for you.  Life will get back to a more normal school-day routine. Our month of vacations, July, is also over and most families are done with vacations.  We have 2 more weeks of summer institute and will start the Book of Mormon lessons on Aug 31st.  They have finished the 4 Cornerstone courses now and so are starting back into the old normal institute lessons.  We will have to see how much we teach with those as we are losing 2 of our English students on the 22nd and 23rd of this month.  David Borcutti is returning to Romania, to hopefully keep preparing for a mission early next year, and Shantay Carr is returning home to the states after her au pair assignment has suddenly ended.  That leaves us with only Miranda Bradshaw who is a non-Danish speaker so we will need to see how we handle that situation.  We may well inherit some more English-speaking surprises as the year goes on.  I hope that is the case, as it is good for us / me! to prepare a lesson every week and get the experience of teaching this age of students.  

At FHE we had 12 YSA come, about half the number as last week for our movie. So, do they hear about the movie and come for a fun night and treats and stay home when it is just an activity of some sort???  We can never predict who will come as so often the numbers are fairly consistent (for FHE and Institute) but there are different faces there every week.   

They did not have much to react to the event this time as we got a call from Gismo at about 5:00 to see if we would do the message and activity as she could not get hold of anyone on the FHA committee.  The Face Book posting saying that we had a fun, new activity to share did not come out until about 5:30.  The theme for the month is Education and Work which ties in with our self-reliance lesson principle of living a balanced life.  Mom wanted to share an article from the Ensign that had impressed her on the importance of a spiritual education to complement university schooling.  As part of that, we showed 2 of the Church videos promoting Institute from the website.  

We finally got to use Our Game of Things that we had prepared many months ago.  It went over quite well.  With the numbers we had, we divided into 2 groups for the game and mom and I were in different groups to sort of lead them. They caught on very quickly, even with our English explanations, and had some clever answers.  There was good natured fun and interaction.  We were especially pleased that Alexander Bloch and Magnus Bernskov came, the first less active and the second not a consistent attender but newly turned 18 and the stake president’s son.  He should be a future leader in the group.  We hardly ever see them and it turned out to be a good mixer for them I think.  Alexander, when he is there, and Nicolai Von Scheel (who comes most every week), hardly ever join in the activity when they are there and this time they did for some reason with some enthusiasm.  I think the game appealed to them.  My group had one girl laughing so hard that she had to hold her side because it was hurting so much.  They tied to explain to me what was so funny (most of the interaction between them is in Danish) but I never quite got it.  It had something to do with her describing a pair of glasses in the singular, as “one glass”.  It hit a funny bone with several of them for some reason.

Our language class is in full swing again.  We have had 8-10 in the classes but only 4 of us on Friday.  Our first module is on food and cooking.  Since we cook so much, this will actually be useful at home and the Center.  We have spent some time reading recipes and learning the vocabulary unique to cooking.  We have done several listening exercises and they are very difficult.  They are normally a dialogue between 2 speakers and it is as if the speed has been turned up to 3x’s.  I get very little the first few times I listen to them except for a word or two.  Even with 5 questions we are supposed to answer, so you know in advance what to be listening for, I don’t really get the sense even of the discussion.  Once we have the text in front of us, after listening maybe 3 times, I can’t even read it as fast as they are talking.  I get pretty discouraged over these exercises, and then I think of our Festinord theme, Never Give Up, and I resolve to at least keep trying.  Mom frankly does a little better than I do with understanding and so I am glad she is my partner, but it is also hard when I see the gleam of comprehension in her eyes and I only feel bewilderment.  There often is a ray of sunshine however as well, coming from some source.  Today in Priesthood meeting, the HP lesson was taught by a member from Germany with a Danish wife. It was the first time he has tried to teach in Danish. He did a good job. Our old bishop was translating for me but I understood a lot of it without his help.  The difference was that he spoke slowly and clearly and used simple words.  Of course, I did not understand most of the comments from the class members, but still a ray of sunshine in that I have made a lot of progress from a year ago. Will I teach a Danish lesson before I come home?  I don’t think so, but then my wife is not Danish either!!!!!!

We had another good stake meeting. I love the interaction of these stake leaders.  There is much I can learn from them.  They are unified and truly focused on the young adults. It seems in every meeting Pres Olsen offers some suggestions that are inspired, out of the box and directed towards some of the core issues.  As an example, we were discussing some of the issues coming up with the planning of our Golden Days conference in September. The Allerød church will only hold 220 people if they are crammed in.  We expect to be around 250 to 270 for a sacrament meeting there.  He didn't hesitate to suggest the names of 2 stake members good with audio visual stuff and said to assign them to solve the problem with TV coverage in a couple of overflow rooms.  At the close of the meeting, he was also sensitive to the stress that Morten and Emma (the co-chairs of the committee) may be feeling as this comes together, and assured them that this council is the forum for solving problems, i.e. they should not have any sleepless nights but should bring their concerns to the Council for resolution or ideas.  I think that was very observant and caring of him.  

As a side note, I asked how long Golden Days has been going on and it has been something like 25 years.  The stake seems committed to continuing the tradition even though it is getting harder with local government regulations limiting the use of schools, funding being cut by the Area Office, etc.  As an example of the former, the tradition is that they hold these at a high school and the kids all sleep over night in class rooms for 2 nights and there is a sacrament or fast meeting on Sunday morning. It is getting more difficult to find a school that will let the church use the building, it used to be free as a community service and now they must pay a rental and cleaning fee, and starting this year, a new regulation will not permit any sort of a religious worship service in a public building, which is why we are using the church this year on Sunday.  It all sounds like the same issues churches are facing in the USA.  

Mom mentioned my spiritual thought.  This was interesting because of the way the Spirit may have worked in this case. Do we always know?  I found out 5 minutes before we left for the meeting that I had the spiritual thought – mom printed off the agenda and saw my name on it.  She drove while I looked for something appropriate. I was hunting for a thought from meeting notes a few years ago on single adults when I stumbled on something else that seemed appropriate.  So, I used the following as my thought.  It is a quote from Elder Holland from the February 2015 training for CES workers.   

“Mark 5:36 ‘Be not afraid, only believe.’ Nothing will keep the Father’s Plan from succeeding.  Arise up and make the most of the remarkable day in which we live.  Every prophet, priest and king has looked forward to our day.  We are the favored people who will bring about the filling of the earth with the gospel.  Nothing is more certain in the world.  It is the perfect antidote for fear.  No unhallowed hand can stop it.  Go forward, be faithful. … We are a generation that is becoming too tolerant. Teach by the spirit and prepare that it will be received by the spirit.  We are under covenant to teach truth and raise an ensign to the nations.  A student cannot stand on sure ground unless they know where it is.”

Later in the meeting, we talked about the dress standards at Festinord.  Pres Olsen wanted to know what we observed and felt about the way both the YM and YW were dressed during the week.  Apparently, something he is concerned about.  The discussion got pretty detailed and then focused on those who have been endowed and the way they respected their temple garments – not wearing them at all on sports day, shorts and skirts too short, blouses too low or off the shoulder, etc., etc. We were all saddened by the discussion and determined that we should do more at Golden Days to encourage and maybe teach proper principles.  It could also be a topic for a monthly fireside.  That eventually brought us back to the parts I have highlighted above that seemed perfect for our discussion and reinforced the spirit that was telling us we need to do more to teach this principle.  So, was this thought inspired or an accident?  It makes me feel humble as I write this that we are directed in many ways that we don’t stop to acknowledge.  I am grateful that the Holy Ghost will guide us in little things as we try to live worthy of his influence and start our days asking for his help with our daily tasks.  

At Institute, we had around 20 for the lesson.  Brother Andersen decided just as we were gathering for the opening song to have us teach the entire group. I was already set up in the office and only had 4 copies of our English handouts.  I don't understand why he does this as it is very inconvenient for everyone (maybe just for us?).  He had already spent some time writing things on the board for his lesson approach.  I spent the opening song making additional copies and moving the laptop into the big room.  Mom did not realize we were teaching the entire group until after the song and prayer. We had 2 English speakers present and the rest were Danish.  We decided that for the next 2 lessons, we will just assume that we will teach the lesson for everyone so we don’t get surprised again.  

Love to all, Dad.