Tuesday, November 14, 2017

November 12, 2017: "My Plan" Self-Reliance Class

Kære Familie,                                                                                                                                                                                12 November 2017
Conversations about the church begin in the strangest ways.  The key is to talk about the church as part of our everyday life.  Such a conversation began this week during our break in language class.  One of my fellow students asked if I was going home for the holidays.  I told her that I would be staying in Denmark and that my service as a missionary was full time until May, at which time I will return home.  She then asked me why I was trying to learn Danish if I was just going home in a few months.  And so I told her, and several other students who were listening, about my work here with the YSA and how it was my personal desire to be able to communicate better with them and try to speak their language.  I told her that it means a lot to the people when they see me trying to learn their language.  I talked about what missions are and how we share messages about families, about hope and about faith.  One young woman from the Philippines mentioned that she had seen young missionaries in her home country while she was growing up.  I told her that my son had served a mission there 20 years ago and that he taught in Cebuano.  It turns out that is her language.  I answered all of their questions about the church—questions mostly out of curiosity.  But maybe next time, the questions will get deeper, beyond curiosity.  I have had many such conversations over the year we have been taking Danish lessons.  We have many new students and seem to add someone new every few weeks, so our class changes constantly.  There is only one other student besides us who was in our original class.  But that gives me many opportunities to introduce myself again and talk about my work here.   

We are preparing for the Primary Sacrament Meeting program.  Today we spent the entire time singing the songs.  I was surprised that we added a new song today—“Follow the Prophet.”  The children know this song, but we haven’t practiced it much all year.  They were a little rusty on the verses.  I guess there is a lot more latitude with choosing songs for the program than in prior years?  We changed choristers twice during the last year and somehow we lost one of the songs we learned at the beginning of the year—“I Wonder When He Comes Again.”  It didn’t make it into the program.  But it will be a wonderful program—it always is.  We only had 12 children in Primary today, a few less than we usually have, but they sang well.  My favorite part of singing time is when the nursery-aged children come in to sing.  We have been doing this for a few weeks now and now the children are singing.  At first they just watched the adults sing.  I love the Danish ‘fun songs.’  They are very different from the ones in our songbook.

This week was the ’30 days in the land’ training for the missionaries who arrived in October.  It was a big group this time—15 missionaries and their companions.  The mission home cannot sleep that many missionaries.  So, the four sister companionships stayed in the temple housing and the 11 elder companionships stayed at the mission home.  Yes, that means 22 beds to make up and 22 mouths to feed for breakfast.  Sister O’Bryant asked that the senior missionaries take care of breakfast for the sisters who were staying at the temple housing, plus the 2 AP’s who joined them for the training.  The training begins on Tuesday night and concludes with a temple session on Thursday afternoon.  So, we did breakfast for Wednesday and Thursday.  That meant for two early mornings—I left the apartment at 6:30 to pick up the other senior sisters and head to the church where we served breakfast.  The first day I suggested waffles, bacon and eggs.  The missionaries loved it—they don’t ever get waffles here.  The next morning we served pastries, yogurt, muesli and fruit.  We also served a baked potato and chili lunch just before the temple that day.  When I left the apartment that morning at 6:30, I had to be ready for the whole day, which included our institute lesson and dessert afterwards.  We got home again about 10:30 p.m., but only because we drove to the center as we went there straight from the temple.  The first morning, I came home after breakfast.  The second morning, we joined in the training, so Dad got a ride to the church with Elder Johnson at 9:00.

We will begin teaching the “My Plan” self-reliance class for returned missionaries in a few weeks.  All missionaries in the states and Canada receive this training prior to leaving their missions.  But it hasn’t been released to the missions outside of those areas.  However, President O’Bryant thinks it is a good program and very necessary in helping missionaries prepare for the future.  It gives them direction and includes goal-setting.  When they come home from their mission, the missionaries are supposed to ‘return and report’ to their stake president/bishop about their ‘plan.’  President O’Bryant has developed a mini-version of “My Plan” and gives a two-hour training to the missionaries who will be returning home the next transfer.  These missionaries arrive on Thursday morning and spend the day in training and in the temple.  So, while the 15 new missionaries (and their companions) continued their training with the AP’s on Thursday morning, we joined the O’Bryants and the 5 missionaries in “My Plan” training.  These missionaries will be going home just before Christmas.  They will ‘return and report’ on their goals when they have their exit interviews with the president.  We were invited to come to the training so we could get some ideas for the class we will be teaching.   
I love the focus on planning for the future.  We should always plan, always dream, always push ourselves to become more than what we are now.  That is part of our purpose here on earth—to grow, to learn, to experience, and to become more like Christ.  Developing Christlike attributes is definitely the most important part of our life plan.  We can set goals of what career we pursue, of getting married and having a family, etc. but we can’t predict what the future holds.  Many of those dreams change—things happen.  There is no such thing as a ‘cookie-cutter life.’  But we can choose to become more Christlike—those goals don’t change.  We can develop faith, charity, patience, humility, etc., no matter what our circumstances.  So it is good to make plans, have goals, but we also have to be flexible and adapt to the challenges and trials that may interrupt those plans.  The path we choose should lead us to eternal life—that is the one constant goal in our life.  It is also a road that leads to happiness—the kind of happiness that is not based on circumstances, but on testimony, on faith in God, on service.  President O’Bryant said that many members of the church will inherit the Terrestrial Kingdom because they fail to be valiant in the testimony of Christ.  These are people who become too busy in life, in careers, even in the church and lose sight of the most important things like repentance and becoming like Christ.  Any goal we set should support the attributes of Christ we want to develop.

Another part of setting goals is having a mentor—someone to encourage us, to advise us, keep us accountable.  We need a spiritual as well as a temporal mentor.  President O’Bryant told the missionaries to turn to their parents for help.  But they could choose a Bishop, leader or other relative.  We should not try to navigate through this critical time of goal-setting and decisions alone. 
President O’Bryant’s approach to goal setting was to look down the road 20 years and picture what you want your life to look like.  Things like ‘what kind of house will you live in’ and ‘what kind of cars will you drive’ don’t do much for me.  But other questions like ‘what does the Sabbath day look like in your family’ and ‘what traditions do you have that will be strong enough to keep your family together’ and ‘what does church service look like for you’ do have great meaning for me.  Making decisions like that now for these young missionaries will pay off big time in the future.  It will help direct them to an eternal companion who also shares those goals.  It will help establish Sabbath Day traditions and scripture reading, family prayer, and FHE traditions.  Those decisions made early will impact the family and future generations in immeasurable ways. 

I believe My Plan is what we do in rearing our families.  It is the way we live our lives—our example speaks volumes.  My Plan is pretty much the teachings and examples we receive growing up.  As a young adult just beginning life, we set our plan in motion by taking the good we have seen in our parents and others.  We make new plans for the things we want to improve on—and I think each generation does improve on the previous one if they make a conscious effort to do so—a new plan, a new goal in that area.  While the emphasis is on goal setting for young 21-year-olds, I think we always need to be setting goals, and most importantly, we always need to be about becoming.  My Plan continues throughout life. 

Sister O’Bryant began our discussion by asking the missionaries how they feel about the last transfer of their mission.  What do they feel is the most treasured gift they are taking from their mission?   And what are the defining moments from their mission?  Christ’s ministry took place in about 3 years.  We listed all the things He accomplished in the last week of His life.  Then she asked the missionaries, based on the things Christ did at the end of His ministry, will they also do their best work during the last transfer?  Will they continue to do the work of a missionary, recognizing that the preaching of the word has a more powerful effect on the people than the sword?  (Alma 31:5)  Will they be anxiously engaged and do many things of their own free will, and bring much righteousness? (D&C 58:27)  Will they endure to the end? (D&C 14:7)  These are wonderful reminders for all of us. 
One last thought from President O’Bryant.  He said that the mission is the hardest thing you will do I your life.  He asked them what conquering skills they have developed and used on their mission.  He encouraged them to write them down, so they can refer to them when they come up against the next hardest thing they do…  So, I ask you—what conquering skills have you learned through the hardest things you have done in your life?  Something to think about. 

I just sent the November Banner to press.  It is always a relief to finish another newsletter.  Our friends, the Yates, are featured in this edition.  They will complete their 18-month mission on December 6th.  We will miss them. 

I hope you all have a great week.  Keep smiling!
Med kærlighed,
Mom


Kære Familie                                                                                                                                                                                  12 November 2017
We had the Rødover Sisters and the Assistants to dinner tonight.  They are 4 experienced missionaries as the sisters are Sister Trainers.  Elder Kennedy, one of the Assistants, goes home on Tuesday.  This is transfer week. We love these missionaries.  They are fun and confident of who they have become.  Sister Jones goes home next transfer and you can see both the anticipation but also the regret for having to leave their missions. These sisters arrived at about the time we did and so we have seen them grow through their missions.  It is amazing to hear them speak Danish so well.  Elder Kennedy gave a talk and bore his testimony today and it seemed like he has one of the better accents – if my not understanding him very well means he speaks unlike most of the Americans. 

I also proofed the Banner tonight that Mom has put together and had a chance to read 10 testimonies + Elder and Sister Yates. The Yates came out with us but are going home after 18 months.  When I see these powerful missionaries going home, I feel a real sense of loss.  How do you replace them?  They seem to be the backbone of the work.  I love reading their testimonies as well. They show the growth they have gone through and how they have learned to deal with hardship and rejection but have also found true joy as they have learned how to serve.  Their testimonies of the Savior and His atonement have grown enormously and they have learned how to earnestly pray and receive answers to those prayers.  Missions are wonderful things for the missionaries and they are the first fruits of their own efforts. 

The mission is at 53 baptisms for the year.  Our goal is 60, so the clock is ticking.  The Assistants said there are 10-15 with dates before the end of the year so it is possible that we will reach our goal, but many with dates are never baptized or their dates slip.  I think the number last year was only 40, so we have done better through lots of faith and hard work. One could say that it is not important that we reach our goal as we have done so well and are close, but I think the psychological impact of reaching it is important to the mission.  All the missionaries have joined in a nightly prayer for this and they have worked hard at being better teachers and finders.  Elder Kennedy mentioned tonight that he thinks the attitude within the mission is much different than a year ago or when he came out.  
I listened to a broadcast on Saturday that really impressed me.  You may have heard it before, but it is worth listening to again.  I think it is a classic that is worth an occasional revisit.   It is from BYUI 20 October 2015. Jayson Kunzler - Millions Shall Know Brother Joseph Again
There are some very good quotes from those that knew the prophet personally as well as our modern apostles. We are talking again in a ward next Sunday and I think I will base my short remarks on some thoughts about Joseph Smith. Maybe you can use these in a FHE with the kids. 
Elder McConkie believed that “the measure of a person’s spiritual maturity is found in his or her loyalty to the Prophet Joseph Smith.”  
President Brigham Young testified, “No man or woman in this dispensation will ever enter into the celestial kingdom of God without the consent of Joseph Smith. From the day that the Priesthood was taken from the earth to the winding-up scene of all things, every man and woman must have the certificate of Joseph Smith, Junior, as the passport to their entrance into the mansion where God and Christ are – I with you and you with me. I cannot go there without his consent. He holds the keys of that kingdom for the last dispensation.”
From Brigham Young, “Who can justly say aught (or anything) against Joseph Smith? I was as well acquainted with him, as any man. I do not believe that his father and mother knew him any better than I did. I do not think that a man lives on the earth that knew him any better than I did; and I am bold to say that, Jesus Christ excepted, no better man ever lived or does live upon this earth. I am his witness.”
John Taylor said, “Joseph Smith, the Prophet and Seer of the Lord, has done more, save Jesus only, for the salvation of men in this world, than any other man that ever lived in it.”
Our 2 sets of headphones were not working for Sacrament Meeting today, and rather than go back and get some more, we just tried to listen to the Danish.  I think I still only understand about 10% of what is said. Our last bishop was one of the speakers. I felt a little bit better after the meeting when Pres O'Bryant was talking to him and told him that he only understood about 65% of what he said because it was so fast and he used some words he did not know. 

Last Monday, we went to the Center at 6:00 as Rebecca Stewart and the missionaries were teaching a discussion to Alma, a new 16-year old who seems really interested.  Her mother does not want her to check out the Mormons however, so she is being deceiving by telling her she is meeting some friends.  That is a difficult situation as obviously she should have the right to be taught but she should also obey and respect her parents.  Her mother is Catholic, so it is a little different than the state religion I think, as the Catholic Church is also a way of life, based on my experiences in France.  It is akin to denouncing your citizenship when you decide to break with the faith of all your ancestors.  

We had 18 come out for FHE which is much better attendance, but 3 of those were new or friends: Alma, Thrina Stokholm brought a male friend Theodore, and Daniel Møller brought his girlfriend from Sweden.  They met at Festinord a year ago.  She has just moved here and found a job, so their relationship must be advancing.  Emma Østergaard taught the lesson on stress.  Our theme this month is supposed to be tithes and offerings, but the YSA leadership is concerned that many of the youth are dealing with lots of stress in their lives, to the extent it is getting difficult for them to accept assignments.  They hope discussing this topic for a few Family home evenings will help them have coping techniques.

We both attended President and Sister O’Bryant’s training on the MY Plan for his departing missionaries.  He does this 6 weeks before they go home.  Since this is the course the stake has asked us to teach, we thought it would be nice to see his approach.  He has developed a goal setting sheet that starts with identifying 4 characteristics of Christ that a person feels they need to strengthen or acquire. They then establish goals for those and other areas that are important to them.  He also walked them through a way to look at careers based on the type of lifestyle they want to have in 20 years.  A career plan is then developed that will allow them to have that life style. 

As mom and I discussed our impressions afterwards, I felt that the big picture approach was good - establishing life styles or choices and thinking about traditions, values, etc. that are important to establish in their future families. Covey would say "Begin with the end in mind" and "Sharpen the saw" by identifying the education and experience that is important to be successful and reach the goals you have set.  The downside was that there was a strongly implied materialism included in the discussion, i.e. that success was a large house, expensive vacations, material goods, high paying job, etc.  We had 4 sisters and 1 elder attending, but even so with this weighting towards sisters, the discussion was all around what kind of career they wanted to have.  There was no mention of being a stay-at-home mom, or education that would make one a better mother in raising the family.  Or that a husband should pursue a career that would provide adequately for the family so mom can stay at home with the children.  The implied assumption was that they would all pursue an education and a career.  I think It would be better, to include principles from the Proclamation on the family to set a further strong foundation based on revealed truth and emphasize the roles that both men and women should try to incorporate into their families.

Sister O'Bryant followed with a final session on how to be a happy missionary.  She used a flip chart with 4 Quadrants defined by Expectations on the Y axis and Charity on the X axis.  We then started with the lower left quadrant of low expectations and low charity and brainstormed adjectives or characteristics that would describe a missionary working with those attitudes.  For example, some of these descriptions were: sad, depressing, wasted time, trunky, couch days, unsatisfying, disappointed.  We then worked clockwise but saved the high / high quadrant for the last.  It was a pretty effective discussion and I thought showed clearly that a happy missionary is one that is fulfilled and successful, following a D&C 4 model when he is working in this last quadrant.  Such a missionary would be working with the Love of Christ and be completely immersed in his mission, laying all else aside. 

I think the approach could have application in a FHE or lesson in church, to school work, sports, career, etc. to demonstrate that both expectations and charity are required to really achieve something and find happiness in the process. 

Now that baseball is over, what else is bringing joy to your lives?  I guess it should be getting towards the football and basketball playoffs.  Anyone paying attention to the Rockets or the Texans? 
Time for bed and sleep.  Love to all.  Dad. 

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