Tuesday, March 20, 2018

March 18, 2018: 42nd Wedding Anniversary


Celebrated our anniversary with Mom's lemon meringue pie.


Kære familie,                                                                                                                                                                             March 18, 2018

It has been 42 years since I went to the temple with Dad to be married on a cool spring day just one day after my last final at the university.  It is amazing how much of a life-time has passed since that day.  I was 21 years old that day—the years I have been married are double those I spent as a child and growing up to adulthood.  I sound very old just writing about it.  And yet I still remember the youthful wonder of all that would now change in my life.  Gone were the days of living at home, dating, and trying to decide my future.  My future now became our future and although there were still many decisions we would make over the next 40+ years, we would make them together.  This was the beginning of our eternal family.  We could not know then that we would be blessed with five wonderful children and that they would grow up (despite us) and get married and have families of their own.  Your unions have blessed us with wonderful daughters and sons-in law as well as 18 beautiful grandchildren.  It just keeps getting better.  And what happens to the love we felt on that March day in 1976?  It has increased as we have learned together through disagreements, struggles, and trials, but also through joys, tender moments and wonderful memories.  I am grateful I have Dad at my side to share the experiences of life.  He has been my shoulder to cry on many times and he willingly lets me cry, even when he is helpless to know what to do.  I am a very complicated person and Dad has put up with that all these years.  I’m sure I am not as appreciative of his patience and love as I should be.  We are still a work in progress—at least I am.  It is almost serendipity that we would go to the exact place a week ago where Dad proposed to me and see the temple where we were married.  We have been very blessed and it all began by making covenants in the temple. 

We had a special experience yesterday when we attended the baptism for a young man—Mathias Christensen.  We don’t know this young man very well—we have actually only met him one other time when he came to institute, but we know a little bit about his story and we know his friend.  His friend is Felix Nørrung who just received his mission call last week to Russia.  And as much as we are thrilled for Mathias and hope he will get involved in YSA and are anxious to befriend him and love him, we are more thrilled for Felix.  We have watched his journey over the last 18 months we have known him.  We met him just before he turned 18.  For several months we did not see him at activities in the YSA center.  The only time we met him is if we went to church in Roskilde.  There is a large group of YSA from Roskilde, and even though many of them have since moved to Copenhagen for school, they know all the young people in their ward well and they are a close group.  Eventually Felix and others in his age group began to come to institute.  It was spotty at first, but by last fall, after Golden Days, we noticed that his young group were now regulars.  They were not only participating each week but taking on assignments.  I think these 18-year-olds are shy about getting involved with all the ‘old’ YSA’s.  They feel like the ‘babies.’  But once they get over their shyness and realize that they are accepted, loved and needed in our YSA group, it is as though they have always been a part of it.  I was actually surprised when I learned that Felix was preparing for a mission because the transformation seemed so sudden—but I could see the desire in his eyes and there was a marked change in his countenance. 

Felix went to school with Mathias.  They were buddies.  As Felix started to prepare for a mission, he had a chance to talk to his friend about his decision.  Mathias seemed interested and wanted to know more about what Felix believed and that is when Felix invited him to meet with the missionaries.  Felix is taking the Mission Prep class in institute.  He shared this experience of inviting his friend to meet with the missionaries in class and there wasn’t a dry eye as Felix bore his testimony about the wonderful feeling he had when telling his friend about the church.  Felix has participated in Mathias’ journey to baptism.  The crowning moment was yesterday when he baptized him.  I can’t think of a better gift to give a friend.  The whole baptism service was filled with the spirit—from the talks to the music, but it practically exploded when we went to the baptismal font.  There were nearly 50 people crowded into the small room.  Felix and Mathias went into the water and as Felix raised his hand, he was overcome.  He could not contain the tears that flowed freely, and it took a moment for him to compose himself.  By then everyone in the room was in tears as we witnessed this sweet moment between friends.  After the baptism, the two embraced as brothers in the gospel.  Happy moment!  What a blessing for Felix to be a missionary—have his first baptism—before he ever goes into the mission field.  This will be a big boost to him as he leaves in a few months. 

We had thought to do some sight-seeing on the way home from the baptism, but the cold weather has really put a damper on doing outside activities.  The wind chill makes it feel like 10˚ F.  It is also not a good time to see some of these out-of-the-way places because, although the grounds are open year-round, the castles are only open May-September.  We may just be out of luck.  But we got a better offer anyway, or so we realized later.  Gismo and a group of YSA were headed to IKEA to do some shopping.  She had her family’s car, so she wanted to make the most of it.  She invited us to come along after the baptism.  When we left, they were no where to be seen so we were just going to head home, but we got a text telling us to come, so we went.  IKEA on Saturday is a nightmare and is the LAST place Dad wants to be.   But he was a good sport as we wandered around the crowded store with this group of 5 YSA.  We all got a hotdog afterwards and I’m sure the selfie picture we took as a group will show up on Facebook sometime.  Gismo and the others were staying in Roskilde for the week-end with their families, but one girl lives with her parents in Copenhagen.  She asked if she could get a ride back to Copenhagen (as opposed to taking a bus/train home).  We said sure—as it was on our way.  Astrid Toft is a shy girl who had her 20th birthday today.  She has been a bit lost in the church and is making her way back.  She started to come to institute last fall but hasn’t been super active.  She has a beautiful voice and I give the YSA girls in her ward all the credit for inviting her to sing in some musical numbers.  This means coming to practices after FHE or institute (so you might as well come to FHE and institute), as well as coming to firesides where you will be performing the musical number.  I was surprised to see that she had made the trip from Copenhagen to Roskilde to attend the baptism.  Then Gismo dragged her to IKEA—she doesn’t take ‘no’ for an answer.  It is good for her to associate with the YSA and get involved.  We had a nice visit with her all the way home (30-minute drive) and were grateful for the one-on-one time with her.  She is in her spring of decision as she wonders what to do with her life—school, work, mission?  We were pleased that mission was in the mix.  We will continue to encourage her to think about and prepare for a mission.  Like I told Lindsey many moons ago when I encouraged her to prepare for a mission, “Whether you go or not, the preparation will never be wasted.”  We sometimes do our best work when we get to minister one-on-one at the crossroads, and quite often it comes at unexpected times.

Our My Plan class has struggled to take flight.  Last week we only had 2 young men come—that has been the average attendance for the class, but we have persevered and figured the lessons were beneficial individually.  I think the church has done an excellent job with the self-reliance courses.  I am curious to know how Zane’s Personal Finance course is going.  We helped facilitate that course last summer for the YSA and again felt that it was beneficial for those who came even if they weren’t consistent—but consistency is always best.  Dad and I have taken turns teaching and tomorrow is our last course.  We had hoped to do two rounds of this course before we went home and had identified a group of RM’s to take the next course, but alas, it will have to be someone else as we don’t have 8 weeks left to do another course (assuming we would teach every week).  We started these lessons the first week in January and it has taken us 11 weeks because some weeks no one showed up. 

Last week I facilitated some discussion about overcoming opposition.  There were some great principles for everyone to learn—whether you are a returned missionary just starting in your life plan, or at my age with much of my life-plan behind me.  When we are aware that Satan is doing everything to oppose our eternal progression, we can set our frontal attack against him and find ways to protect ourselves.  The following is a quote from the manual:

Satan works constantly to lead us off course and keep us from accomplishing the Lord’s work and plan. He desires to deceive, confuse, distract, and dissuade you. He wants you to justify sin. He does so by appealing to any weakness of the flesh, including pride and desires for personal gain or ambition. He will confront you and attempt to make you question your beliefs and your identity as a child of our Father in Heaven. As you strive to make and keep spiritual commitments in your life, he will attack you, as he did Moses (see Moses 1:12–22), Jesus Christ (see Matthew 4:1–11), Joseph Smith (see Joseph Smith—History 1:15), and many others.

We need to create a plan to protect ourselves spiritually from opposition to our faith, because those times will come.  I liked this message from Elder Holland about staying on course during challenges and opposition.  He tells us to ‘cast not away therefore your confidence, which hath great recompense of reward,’ (Hebrews 10:35) and then he tells us that means don’t give up and don’t give in to that being who is bent on the destruction of your happiness. 

I hope you all have a nice week.  I am so glad you all got somewhat of a break during Spring Break.  It sounds like Lindsey had a working Spring Break—but then Utah doesn’t have a Spring Break until Easter.  Maybe you will get some relief then.
Med kærlighed,

Mom


Kære Familie                                                                                                                                                                      Sunday, March 18, 2018

While you have enjoyed Spring Break, I suppose with nice warm weather suitable for camping, we have been shivering through our coldest week yet.  The temperatures were colder before our trip to Utah, but the wind has been constantly howling this week dropping the wind chill to where we don’t want to be outside or walk, even though we have had to.  Any exposed skin is punished by the wind.  I have been very grateful for my warm down coat which I have used a lot this year along with my scarf and fur lined boots.  Last year, I was thinking that I wasted money on both as I didn’t use them very much.  This year I love them and don’t care how I look – everyone else is bundled up as well.  We still see a few sitting outside drinking in front of a café.  I don’t understand them but maybe they come from Finland or Siberia.

I gave away my bicycle to one of the temple missionaries this week.  I overheard him talking to another temple worker about finding a bicycle to ride.  So I mentioned that mine would be available when I go home.  They are only here for another 4 ½ months on a 6-month mission and somehow he talked me out of it even though I would really like to keep it until I go. He is a rider and I don’t use it very often.  I rode the bike to the temple apartments and mom picked me up in the car. I wanted to sell it to him for the $75 that I paid for it (or something close) but I had sort of offered it to him.  He did not bring up payment again, so I let it pass.  He will hopefully pass it on to another senior missionary who will make use of it when he goes.  My contribution to the health and well-being of senior missionaries. 

We had our stake DVI meeting on Wednesday and a major item of discussion was the ineffectiveness of Ward YSA Committees, ward YSA couples and YSA reps across the stake. We have trained every ward and the priesthood leaders on this, so it is frustrating that it does not have better traction.  In most cases, they are not meeting regularly and accomplishing anything.  I think the link between the committee and reps and the EQ, RS and Ward Council is not working and that is the underlying cause of the lack of action and success. It starts with the bishop insisting that the monthly YSA Committee Meeting be held and holding a counselor responsible for pulling the members together.  If the EQ and RS would realize that this meeting is an outreach of their presidencies and can help in the rescue and perfecting work, then they would be much more prone to encourage the meeting.  Training is also essential for the YSA couple and the reps, so they understand their responsibilities.  It should be much more than teaching a SS class and hosting a monthly fireside.  They complain that it is hard to have a consistent fireside on a Sunday night as there are a lot of conflicts with stake firesides.  President Olsen's response was for them to think out of the box and have lunches after the block or even during the SS class. The calling is not about firesides. They should also remember their purpose and focus on the One, face to face if possible.  In other words, there is a lot of work to be done if they would just focus on it. 

We also discussed how to handle the 17-year-olds in the stake.  They are always a bit of a problem and for the first time I understood that they are starting seminary here at age 13 and thus graduate from seminary at 17.  Since they are not really in YSA until 18, there is a year when they are in limbo land.  We asked why they don’t start seminary until age 14 and they said it was because they thought we started at 13 in the states?????  (There must be a bigger story behind this that we haven’t heard yet.) In any case subject to that changing sometime in the future, the stake presidency agreed on the following.
o   They should attend FHE 17 with families in their homes until they turn 18.
o   Their social life should continue to be with the ward youth, both for fellowshipping younger youth and because of the age difference with the older YSA. 
o   They should attend Mutual on Wednesdays and participate in the stake Super Saturdays.
o   Their spiritual life can be with Institute in place of seminary if they have completed 4 years and they can attend both Institute classes and the monthly firesides. 
These rules are not any different than what we have been following, but it is perhaps clearer to everyone why they are in place.  The 17-year-olds will continue to feel half in and half out of the YSA though, because in reality they are. 

For Institute on Thursday, Gismo was making dinner with Anders Pang as a date (part of the Shurtliff Challenge which is continuing this month).  She told us not to come before 5:30 as she did not need help and did not want the ambiance of their date messed up! When we arrived at 5:30 however, Alma was in the kitchen helping them as she arrived early and went to work.  I guess it still worked out ok.  There were about 20 for dinner and we got up to 38 for the class.  The dinner was a chicken soup with a broth made of green pepper and onions.  Not a lot of substance to it.  There was nothing else to go with it either, neither bread nor fruit nor salad.  We each had a bowl of soup but it was not very filling.  On the way home at 10:00, we were both hungry and so stopped at Burger King, which we walk by, even though it was so late.  First time we have done that.  It was nice to break the cold walk in half and warm up for a few minutes before continuing towards home and the Whopper tasted great. 

With Grandma’s passing and the removal of the need to spend time taking care of her, my thoughts have been a bit more on post mission life.  We have had two senior missionary couples arrive this week.  The Browns will live above us for only 45 days in the temple apartment and serve in the temple.  They were recruited to meet a short-term need for temple workers.  We need to learn more about them, but they said this is their 7th mission of one kind or another.  Some of them have been short and some have been at home, but they have been in Boston, here on a previous 18-month temple mission, Cove Fort, Florida on a ranch, and in China twice under the BYU teaching program.  The Telfords arrived just yesterday and will spend 6 months on a temple mission.  (The temple is hurting for long-term missionaries, so they are filling in with recycled missionaries!). The Telfords were here in our position as the YSA couple about 5 years ago.  They are back for a short stay.  This is interesting and does make us ask ourselves when and where we will serve another mission.  I asked the Browns if it was hard to leave their family so often, and they said that their closest child lives 3 hours away and 3 others are in California, so they don’t see them that often anyway and she did not want to babysit very much.  I think our situation is different and we love getting with the family as often as we can and we love to babysit those cute grandkids.  So we will see.  There is something exciting about looking at missionary opportunities and seeing if something feels right, but we will see what home-life feels like and what callings might come our way.  We truly want to be directed to where the Lord needs us most and then we have faith that everything else will turn out just fine. This quote is in my lesson for tomorrow and it stands out to me as well.  I have myself said that we need to get back to “real life” so I stand corrected by a prophet. 
President Thomas S. Monson taught: “The Savior taught His disciples, ‘For whosoever will save his life shall lose it: but whosoever will lose his life for my sake, the same shall save it.’ “I believe the Savior is telling us that unless we lose ourselves in service to others, there is little purpose to our own lives. Those who live only for themselves eventually shrivel up and figuratively lose their lives, while those who lose themselves in service to others grow and flourish—and in effect save their lives” (“What Have I Done for Someone Today?” Ensign or Liahona, Nov. 2009, 85). After returning home, many returned missionaries believe that they have to get back into the “real world.” But this is inaccurate. You are never to become part of this world; you are to rise above and shine before the world (see Matthew 5:16).

Thanks for the letters that have come already.  We love reading them and have empathy for the hard spots in your lives.  That which does not break us makes us stronger and I know nothing can break you if you stay close to the Lord. 

All my love, Dad. 

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